The best way to become a better writer is to practice your writing, so, for critique, post a comment, 500 words or less that takes place entirely in an elevator.  Here is one I did when I was 14. The key super short stories is to tell, but tell well.

Overweight, middle age and haggard, Eleanor Quasar, or Mrs Q, as she was called by her students, stepped into the elevator. She had come a long way, and was exhausted from her meeting. The conference was about discipline. Discipline was foreign to both her and her students not because she was soft hearted. No, it was because she enjoyed watching proudly as her students fell through the cracks of society. She pressed a button for her apartment was on the second floor. The doors closed, and she squeezed in with about five other people on the elevator. She didn’t pay much attention to them because she was busy checking her watch. Oprah would be on in five minutes. She didn’t want to miss that.

I. S. Shnoovich wheeled his walker into the elevator. He was 80 years old and strongly resembled a character from lord of the rings.  He had no apartment in the building. He traveled from Russia. He was stalking Eleanor Quaser. To him she looked beautiful. He remembered when, as a project she swept into his poor Russian school like a storm. I S Shnoovich was a principal. He couldn’t help loving her, and though she was fat and grey, all Ivan saw was a princess. No one had ever loved I. S. Shnoovich before. Even at the age of 20 he looked more or less the same as he did now.

Ivan and Ana entered the elevator under the same coat unrecognized. Only Ivan’s head showed. If he was seen with Ana it would have given them away. For now Ivan just looked like an extremely fat Russian twenty year old. Ivan and Ana were Siamese twins. They had been planning this attack for months.They planned to kill the two people who ruined their lives. Mrs Q, and Mr. Shnoovich. There were twenty bullets in the riffle. Ten were for Eleanor, ten were for Shnoovich. Ivan and Ana’s aim was so bad that it was possible that they could run out of ammunition, even in this elevator.

Aloopgooberragdollfattyspec- 1345 was an alien. If you were a Grog, he would appear green with one eye. He was on a mission to blow up the world. An intoxicated homeless man told him that the supreme ruler of the earth was Eleanor Quasar.  He had a bomb on him that would blow up one quarter of the earth. He planned to enslave the other three quarters. From the outside Aloopgooberragdolli -etc. just looked like a three year old girl with blonde pigtails.

Muhammad was the first person on the elevator. He was a small man who went unnoticed. He was visiting his North American cousins.  He had never met them before, and he trembled with anticipation. He was a long way from Saudi Arabia. He missed his wife and children. Despite all his anxiety, he was very polite. He took great effort to say hello to everyone in the elevator. No one noticed. Then the elevator began its assent.

I filled the elevator with carbon monoxide.  I am a CSI agent. I had been tracking Muhammad since he arrived at the border. He was a suspected terrorist that we had been tracking for years now. I wouldn’t have done it if I realized there were others in the elevator.

"If your character saves the world, they cannot just go for a celebratory cappuccino at Starbucks, (though that is what I would do after saving the world.)" <-- Ha, I love this!


Okay, I somehow commented on the wrong post. Not sure how it happened, but I'm sorry about that!


No problem. I am probably not a character in a novel because my only motivation would be coffee. :)


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